The quest for great S♡X!

dripping grapefruit, pleasure, female empowerment

Dear Diary, 

If we had a dollar for every lousy sexual encounter we’d had, we would be all together sipping coconuts on a beach in Bali by now. 

Something that has brought us all together as a collective is our common experiences when it comes to not communicating our needs and desires when it comes to S.E.X. 

Afraid to take up space. 
Afraid to use our voices. 
Afraid that we may just be a little bit too much.

Ever felt that too?

Well, we know others do, as only around 50% of women climax during sex.

& that figure is probably too high, with some of the stories we have heard around here. 

From men unwillingly spitting in our mouths during sex, to men outwardly commenting that we must be ready because we’re wet, are some of the few where we have yet to use our voices to say...umm hang on a minute, I actually don’t want your spit in my mouth, and before you even THINK of sticking in, I would like a minimum of 10 minutes of you between my thighs.

Many men (and women) will act only how they know, whether they learnt that from their ex or from something that they watched, and unless we begin to use our voices and speak up, they will never learn what we like. 

So why are we so afraid to talk about our turn ons?

Unfortunately, we still live within a culture that shames us for having sex for pleasure, therefore as Clinical Sexologist, Sunny Rogers, states - many of us therefore hold fear over sexual communication. 

Opening up about our sexual desires takes on many elements of vulnerability, as Brene Brown states that vulnerability is risk and emotional exposure.  It’s the unstable feeling that we get when we are stepping outside of our comfort zone or do something that isn’t necessarily within our control. 

But through healthy communication in the bedroom, we are more likely to feel safe, seen and heard, all whilst taking control of our wants and needs to ensure that there isn’t just one mission complete, but a whole galactic journey. 

Tell us, how many times have you lay under or on top of your partner, just wishing they would move a little to the left, bite a little bit harder or tell you that you’re a good girl? 

There is so much importance in honing in on what you want as a whole being before inviting somebody else to share it with you. 

It’s our time to shine.

To fall out of somebody else's arms breathless, arms tingling and a loss of sensation in our legs.

Speak up!

& if you can’t, ask yourself why.

Write it down, then turn it around and write it into a positive.

Then begin to note down what you truly want, need and desire. 

What makes you bite your bottom lip? Close your eyes? Get the flutters?

Say it outloud.
Repeat it in the mirror.
Tell your friend.
Then tell your partner/s.

We too are on this journey with you.

Charlie Ella was created for YOU, to remind you.

This Pssy Power is here for you, for us. 

Are you ready?

Because we are.

With Love, 

Charlie Ella & The Pssy Diaries

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